Burning
by bandedbulbussnarfblat
Summary: She imagines touching Kady now, reaching out and running a hand along her arm. She bets her skin is soft. She wants to trace her fingers along her flesh, to run a hand through her hair. These aren't the thoughts straight girls have. Alice is aware of that, so she guesses that means she isn't a straight girl.


div class="userstuff"  
p align="LEFT"She's still a little shaky after the snacks. Confronting yourself like that is exhausting in more ways than one. Alice can feel Kady watching her, assessing. "I'm fine."/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Kady's face says she doesn't quite believe her, but she doesn't press her further. "You need a place to stay tonight?"/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"With everything that's happened, Alice hasn't had much time to find a place to crash. She's staying in a motel at the moment, the sort that doesn't check ID and lets its clients pay in cash. "I have a room. It's not far from here."/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT""Anywhere not far from here is a shithole. I busted a coke ring nearby when I was a cop."/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT""A few basic wards and I'll be fine. I've slept in worse places."/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT""Stay over. That was serious magic you pulled. You don't want to be low on juice if the library comes knocking."/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"After everything it almost feels like forgiveness. It's something, at least. An olive branch, maybe, a chance to earn some redemption."...Fine."/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"It turns out that there isn't an empty bed in the apartment. Kady says they can share, that it's no big deal. Alice, who never had normal sleepovers with other girls thinks it is. She doesn't say that though, because she's tired and she wants to sleep, and Kady is trying to be nice./p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Kady sleeps in a tank top and short shorts. Alice usually wears pajamas that come in a matching set, but she settles for the baggy tee shirt and shorts Kady gives her. It's quiet once Alice slips into bed beside Kady, too quiet to sleep./p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Alice is hyper aware of Kady next to her, can feel her warmth from the small distance between them. It strikes her that Kady is beautiful. It's something she's always known, objectively, but never really considered. She doesn't consider girls that way. Except.../p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Except those times she felt a burning in the pit of her stomach when she talked to Margo. Or the way she would get goosebumps when Kady placed a hand on her arm. She imagines touching Kady now, reaching out and running a hand along her arm. She bets her skin is soft. She wants to trace her fingers along her flesh, to run a hand through her hair. She wonders if her mouth would taste different than a boy's. If kissing her would be rougher or more gentle./p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"These aren't the thoughts straight girls have./p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Alice is aware of that, so she guesses that means she isn't a straight girl. Sexuality has always been confusing. Her parents were so open that she became closed as a sort of rebellion. She was afraid of intimacy. For awhile in her teenage years she thought she may be asexual./p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Was sexuality supposed to be this confusing?/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"All Alice knows is that Kady is half a foot away from her, but the distance may as well be the ocean. She wants to touch her, to feel her so badly she aches. Several long minutes pass and Kady rolls on her side and looks at her. "What are you thinking?"/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT""I've never kissed a girl." It's the truth, and Alice realizes too late that it's revealing more than she wants to show. And she never has, never experimented the way other kids did. She barely kissed boys, and she knew she liked them./p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Kady smiles at her, a knowing look in her eye. "Do you want to?"/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Alice wants to apologize for the inappropriateness of the situation. Having a girl trapped in a bed with you isn't the right time to admit your attraction toward her. But Kady is smiling at her, shark like and Alice's stomach clinches and her heart all but stops. She swallows thickly and can barely whisper out a 'yes.'/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Kady leans over, easy as breathing and presses her mouth to Alice's. It's soft and brief, more a suggestion of a kiss than an actual kiss. But it sends fire racing through Alice, all the way from her head to her toes./p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Kady rolls back unto her side of the bed and closes her eyes. "There, now you have."/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Alice doesn't know what to do. She clears her throat and tries to clear her head. "Should I-"/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT""Go to sleep, Alice."/p  
p align="LEFT" /p  
p align="LEFT"Alice closes her eyes and burns./p  
/div 


End file.
